In the third camp are the guys who try to argue you out of using protection and kill the moment. Then there are the heroic-gesture guys, who put on a condom but are way too self-congratulatory about it, like Matthew McConaughey at an awards ceremony. First, there are the normal nice guys who automatically put on a condom because they’re not stupid and don't want to get my hypothetical STIs. In my personal experience, there are four main condom camps. Contrary to popular belief, women are not just sex-bot-cum-dumpsters-we also experience sexual sensitivity. And I’m sick of hearing guys complain about lack of sensation, as if it feels better without a condom only for them. But we shouldn’t have to trick our partners into being safe. (Which is so weird because, hello, there’s actually a cure for pregnancy.) In the past, when a partner of mine has been resistant to condoms, my most effective retort has been to lie and say, “I’m not on birth control.” Say you’re anti-abortion and dudes will straight-up double-bag it. Statistics have shown that straight, young people are more concerned about pregnancy than STIs. It’s like Amy Schumer tells guys in bed: “Trust me, you're gonna want to wear this, I've had a busy month.” But like, why aren’t guys scared of me? I’m the type of girl who passes out at sex parties. It’s confusing that this has become an established dynamic: apparently, the girl is the one who cares about condoms, and the guy is just doing us a favor by wearing one.
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